First off we found a home to buy, my husband turned down our military housing and we are still living in our trailer! We are buying a home from forclosure- it is a 2800 sq ft split level that is stuck in the 70's! It is in a desirable neighborhood here, and this was key for us since we want to be able to sell it in about 3.5 - 4 years. Dealing with the bank as a seller has been a huge pain, seems we can not get anything done in a timely manner. We had an inspection and only a few minor things were found- so we can dig in and start to update it. We have been spending our weekends shopping for carpet,laminate floors, bathroom fixtures, light fixtures, picking up paint samples... I thought this would all be fun but I really am not enjoying it at all- I just see our savings dwindling away. Plus it looks like it will be October before we can actually move in and get our household goods delivered. In the meantime, we are all getting on each others nerves in this tiny space. I miss my bed, my kids miss their toys, and Steve leaves everyday for work- which he loves. I am grateful that he does- but again resentful because I am stuck here all day in a tiny space with the kids! The RV park we are staying in is very nice, but it is for retired people- not kid friendly at all. We would move but everything is booked until mid Oct. and Steve is getting a good deal on our monthly rent here, and he wants to save as much money as he can so we can sink it into the house.
I've gotten the kids registered for school- 2 more weeks until it starts. We have established with a doctor. Madison is being referred to a specialist over her abdominal pain, and I am being referred to a couple specialist- for the reoccurring attacks that I think must be gall stones- but an ultra sound shows none, and a for a mass on my thyroid that is now about the size and shape of a large peanut. I am also dealing with some other "female" issues as well. Glad to be back in the states where I am comfortable dealing with all of this- but feeling like I am falling apart dealing with it all at once. Wondering how much is aggravated by stress?
I am stressed, but then I sit here and wonder what really do I have to be that stressed about? I should be thankful, I have a great family and we are all together- right?! Then I think that maybe I am insane because I spend my day arguing these points in my head with myself.
Steve suggested that I get a job, because I have to much spare time... and he thinks the money will help with the house. I'd love actually to get a job, but I see the money I make going to daycare, housework not getting done, and no time for my studies- since I start back at school Sept.14. But to please him I applied for a part time bank teller position. Went for an interview- the first one I've went on in years! We will see what happens. After daycare and taxes I may bring home about 20 bucks a week- lol, but it will get me out of the house and associating with adults a couple days a week, so not a bad thing, and Steve will get to see what it is I really do in all this spare time he thinks I have.
If I am going to work I decided I better work harder on getting Carson potty trained- his daycare options open widely if he is potty trained. Spending my days now cleaning up after his piddles and poos. Funny thing is I leave for about 3 hours to catch a movie with a friend and have some much needed time away, and find that during the time I was gone- Steve not once tried to get Carson to potty- he put him in a diaper that I had to change when I got home- and he wonders what I do with my time.
Now I am just complaining- which is why I have not blogged in a while- because if you have nothing positive to say, you should not say anything at all. :) I can't sleep, I have been eating like crap and feeling it - no time for the exercise I used to get, and no time to just be, can't get away to even hear myself think - we are all on top of each other and grumpy!I know that eventually this will all be worth it... but I so wish I could realize just a little of that right now. I feel like I am seriously going insane.
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